The maid of honor just puked.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Girls should come with a carfax report
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
