I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was born a porn star she said
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
