ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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