Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize