Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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