theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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