I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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