I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
