Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize