brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize