I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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