do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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