ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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