The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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