Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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