My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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