Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
