I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
