We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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