Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
