I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize