i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize