Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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