He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
