They should really pass out barf bags in church
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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