Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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