i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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