How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
