In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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