peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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