At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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