The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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