It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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