Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
