HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
