I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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