I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want her autograph on my taint
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
