someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
