His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
