She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
