Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
