i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
