The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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