I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize