Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
