jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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