His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
