we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
