we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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