Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
