made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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