Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This girl is more easily done than said...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
