We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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