I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize