I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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