As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
