what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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