The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
