it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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