Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
