she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
