my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Hippo gnu deer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
