I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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