I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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