and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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