i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
